Edmund Wilson Regrets

As his popularity grew, the late-literary critic Edmund Wilson found himself forever responding to mail, to the point where he wasn't able to focus on his work. His eventual solution was to send the following — a list of things it was (regretfully) impossible for him to do — to all who contacted him with a request he couldn't fulfil.

Unluckily for Wilson, news of his unique rejection list quickly circulated, and he was soon inundated with requests for the rejection itself.

Transcript follows. Image courtesy of Crikey.

Image: Crikey

Transcript

EDMUND WILSON REGRETS THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO:

Read manuscripts,
Write articles or books to order,
Write forwards or introductions,
Make statements for publicity purposes,
Do any kind of editorial work,
Judge literary contests,
Give interviews,
Conduct educational courses,
Deliver lectures,
Give talks or make speeches,
Broadcast or appear on television,
Take part in writers’ congresses,
Answer questionnaires,
Contribute to or take part in symposiums or "panels" of any kind,
Contribute manuscripts for sales,
Donate copies of his books to libraries,
Autograph works for strangers,
Allow his name to be used on letterheads,
Supply personal information about himself,
Supply photographs of himself,
Supply opinions on literary or other subjects.

(I don’t [do] live readings either unless I'm offered a very large fee. EW)